February

Firstly: Happy February! I was wondering why I was getting a bunch of great author newsletters in my inbox recently when I realised that somehow we were already into the second month of the year. Incredible.

Needfire stuff

ARCs are available on Netgalley UK! You can request them here! The Needfire on Netgalley UK

You can add it to your ‘Want to Read’ on Goodreads and Storygraph as well! The Needfire on Goodreads; The Needfire on Storygraph

We’re running a swag giveaway on Instagram and Bluesky! Open til this Sunday, get in quick!

It’s exciting and a bit nervewracking to see it go out into the wide world of readers who aren’t our friends (and therefore obliged to say nice things about it). I hope it finds its audience (creepy tree lovers).

Other book stuff

[This section has been classified]

No but seriously we have at least THREE exciting things going on that we can’t share with you… yet. But soon (I hope). Sooooooooooon.

Also, given this is our debut year we’ve planned on going to a LOT of cons, so you’ll be able to find us at Eastercon, Cymera, Seattle Worldcon, and World Fantasycon… and probably others tbd. If you’re at any of these give us a shout, we’d love to meet more people in person!

Other other stuff

A bit of a more serious section here... Feel free to skip if you're not into navel gazing and waffling.

I (E) have a long history of depression and anxiety. The anxiety in particular has been a constant companion as far back as I can remember, tinging my memories with a haze of regret and avoidant choices. It has specific ways it impacts my life and triggers I can sometimes control, sometimes not. I hate it, but it's a part of me as much as the aspects of myself that I love. That’s being human, I guess.

After living with it for more than a quarter of a century I eventually found a doctor who took me seriously and gave medication for it. It was, not to put it lightly, transformative. Intrusive thoughts were quieted, day to day worries were banished. I wasn't a completely different person, but I wasn't the same, either. I was a better partner, friend, employee.

And yet. And yet. 

With all the good, there were also side effects. Some were predictable - hello weight gain - and some I hadn't expected. Namely, the way it impacted my creativity and ability to write. Words and ideas used to come easily; they no longer did. I felt like I had been dropped in the desert, stumbling towards some remembered oasis. It shook my sense of self, made me question whether I could and should stay on the meds.

But I valued being able to be the person I wanted to be in my relationships, and so I stuck it out. Slowly (so, so slowly) I built my writing practice back up. It helped being half of a pair, as I always had someone to spark off of, but even then it was a long road to feeling like I was a writer again. And then things started to happen! We got an agent, and then another agent, and then we got a book deal! And then another one! We had deadlines and people expecting things of us and it was scary but also what we had been working towards for a long time.

I was coping under this workload and my altered creativity, but there was still that ‘what if’ in the back of my mind. At the end of 2024 life conspired to throw a couple things at me that added a lot of stress into my life. I was barely holding it together. And, being an incredibly sane and rational person, I thought ‘well, things can’t get any worse, so why not try going off the meds?’

Fabulous idea, E. Real genius stuff.

But I went through with it, tapering off incredibly slowly (though I still got the brain zaps, which came mainly at night and made trying to get to sleep a real joyride). By the time we got to 2025 I was fully off them. And? I hear you say. Well.

I think my creativity is more unfettered. Certainly I find it easier to just sit down and write (though I still procrastinate when the circumstances allow). But I’m also still stressed, and my anxiety is back, causing problems like a wee imp you just want to punch in the face. And it turns out that stress and anxiety make it hard to write, even if there’s no medication dragging you through the desert. I’m still struggling to produce, though the root causes are different. Turns out being a tortured artist doesn’t make one more inspired or productive.

I don’t know what my point is here. I don’t have a thesis, or a bunch of helpful tips for people going through a similar journey like other, smarter authors might offer. All I have is sympathy for anyone struggling - either due to their brain imps, or the state of the world today, or both. It sucks, but at the end of the day I have to remember that writing has brought me shedloads of new friends, opportunities, and joy despite the ups and downs. I hope it does for you too.

Links

The Killing Bottle: An Analysis of M John Harrison’s Virconium series: I friggin’ love a deep, crunchy craft analysis and this one is a beauty.

No One Talks About Leaving Sport: Sport as body horror! Horrific! Compelling! Definitely giving me ideas!

How do you make yourself write?: Dave is a good friend, and I adore the thoughtful way he approaches and talks about craft and writing, and this is no exception. “You can't fail at writing. You can always pick it up again. And the quicker you do, the less time you waste on pointlessly beating yourself up, the more days-in-aggregate you will get and the closer you'll be to where you want to be.”

A Gay Relationship in the MERL archives: Researching and writing about historic queerness is a tricky thing to do, both because it’s often incredibly hidden and because how we see it today is not the same as how it was lived then. This is a great example of reading between the lines but also respecting that we may never know for sure.

BFS Mentorships now open: The British Fantasy Society has launched a series of mentorships, with subsidised and funded spots available!

The Great Dragon Debate: Speaking of the BFS, both E and M will be appearing at the Great Dragon Debate online, along with Ian Green and Zen Cho, to decide once and for all: what makes a dragon?

Okay folks, that’s it for now. As always, thanks for reading x